HELLO THERE PEEPS! I want to talk about Retail, specifically, I want to talk about working in electronic stores. Now, I wish customers would read this but I know they won’t because my customers are too stupid to use the internet any way. This isn’t a rant about this thing that happened that one time, no, unfortunately, I have to deal with something new everyday! So I’m just going to list my biggest pet peeves about working in this hell of a store. 1) Customers who assume you are their own personal slave, they come up at behind you and start coughing to get your attention, because you know, saying Hello is just too much as you are simply way too beneath them. They then expect you to spend 30 minutes with them teaching them how to do the retarded project/task their wife or son asked them to do, in the end, they probably won’t even buy anything or won’t spend more than £10 but obviously you have nothing better to do! 2) Customers who don’t believe anything you tell them, Why the fuck are you asking me then? Grab your phone and google that shit. 3) Customers who will come up to you and expect you to help them when you’re already in the middle of dealing with someone and will get offended if you don’t drop that person for them. Oh I’m sorry ,I didn’t realise the Queen of England arrived, I would’ve gotten the fucking red carpet out if I knew. 4) When you say Hi how are you to someone and they don’t even look at you. Well I’m sorry, if it bothers you that much, go home and write a fucking letter to my manager so he can stop forcing me to talk to your sorry ass then. 5) 40-50 somethings who think they are gods gift to humanity and talk to you like you’re some piece of garbage. I realise that your asshole baby boomer parents probably handed you everything in life but you could at least make an effort of not looking like such conceited assholes. Thank you 6) People who get offended when we say sorry we don’t sell x. I’m sorry, let me just tell my boss to promote me to Head of Purchases NOW! STAT! So I can control what fucking stock we have, this brings me too…. 7) People who get offended if we can’t order something that we don’t carry specifically for them, yes, let me get the whole fucking company on it, shall I call the president for you ?Why don’t you get your ass on Amazon or ebay and just get it there. 8) People who get impatient if they have to wait in a que for more than 30 seconds. Again, shall I get the red carpet? Your life must be so important since you just spent the last 20 minutes looking at screw drivers, clearly you’re in a big rush that the extra 1 minute in a que is going to kill you! It’s not like all the tills aren’t being manned already or anything. 9) No it’s not my job to know who might have what you want specially when you ask it in a snarky tone. Learn some goddamn manners and I might tell you,if all else fails, seriously, learn to use google, wtf, 99% of my customers don’t know how to fucking google I swear. 10) No I don’t really want to ring another store and ask them if they have something for you, do it yourself, where the fuck do you think you are? Harrods? 11) If you are rude to me don’t look at me with a shocked face when I’m rude back, I get more on welfare in my country, do you think I give a shit if I get fired? 12) Which brings me to point, I AM PAID MINIMUM WAGE, you shit heads. No I do not know what voltage the PSU on a Samsung NC500312X is from the top of my head while we’re talking on the phone, you have the broken charger with you, read me the fucking power rating you dumbass. 13) No I also don’t give a fuck about your dumb amateur electronics, I don’t find soldering impressive, I’m a human being not a fucking robot, I’m studying law at uni not resistors and shit. If I start talking about the doctrine of precedent you probably wouldn’t give a shit either. 14) Which brings me to, I am human, don’t talk to me like an asshole or I’ll just walk away and then you can try and help your own dumbass or leave the store. Again, I’m on minimum wage wiht no commission, I could care less if you buy something or not. 15) Use your fucking eyes, I’m on a ladder, with a TV in my hand and a bundle of cables in the other. The USB sticks you want are RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU so don’t ask me where they are. 16) Which brings me to, you spend 5 minutes walking pacelessly at the till, frowning and puffing until finally you start yelling for SERVICE, you then ask where x is. The time you spent waiting, you could’ve already fucking found it. There’s about 15 customers in store and only like 3 staff members, I know this is Head office fault for not hiring people (and trust me I work like a fucking dog) but maybe you can fucking use that time to look around instead of acting like a spoiled teenage princess. 17) I’m not on commission, stop asking me questions about every little thing, do you think I give a shit if you buy it or not?? Don’t waste my time for 20 minutes because you can’t decide which computer mouse you want. You should decide that shit yourself, I don’t have your tiny wrinkly hands. You want me to tell you what the best one is? Well in general, it’s the most expensive one, but you probably are going to get the cheapest one any way, dipshit. 18) Don’t come in at 17:59 and start asking for components, people have died for less than that. 19) When you complain about service, look around, if I’m the only person in the fucking shop floor, have some fucking patience and realise that I probably work for a really shitty company and if you really want to say something then say it to fucking head office as I have no control over how much staff is working, so if you think you’ve had poor service or had to wait, the person who is serving you probably isn’t very happy either. 20) I’m tired, I’m going to bed. Oh one last thing, Dont ask me something more than 3 times after I give you the same answer. Yes I am fucking sure, don’t believe me? Get the fuck out and google it. No it didn’t magically come back in stock the 3rd time you asked me. Do you see that “Zero” on the computer screen? That means 0 mother fucker. I swear, some of you people must not understand english. DISCLAIMER: THIS IS DIRECTED AT CUSTOMERS. FEEL FREE TO COPY PASTE THIS IN WHATEVER FORUM YOU WANT BECAUSE I’M TO LAZY TO DO IT MYSELF. CUSTOMER STYLE.
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