Is it just me, or do secretaries have to be the brains behind retail operations? Fuck you fatasses that can’t figure out what uniform size to order, bitch at MY boss about it, and I get yelled at for taking shit from a company of idiots with the intelligence quotient of a rock.
General Crap I deal with on a regular basis:
1. People bitching about how TIGHT their uniform is (holy fuck, it isn’t tight…EVERYONE’S JUST MORBIDLY OBESE). I’m sorry asian factories don’t make an asian 10XL for fuck’s sake…and holy shit if you can’t fit the standard US sizes they offer (btw, my location is THE only location that orders so many of the bigger sizes) then let that be a sign to you fat bitches that bitch about everything but yourself for being fat in the first place.
2. People bitching that I’m on the phone too much, when I’m actually talking to THEIR LAZYASSMANAGER about shit that isn’t even part of my job responsibilities, but they bitch to my manager anyway. (Well gee, I’m sorry I can’t make the damn world stop for you, assholes).
3. People kissing my ass so I can expedite their request (bitch, please). There’s a fucking step-by-step protocol to abide by, and if I don’t MY ass is hanged, but they talk smack about me not helping them anyway. I AM helping, shit just doesn’t happen overnight. Shanghai won’t send me my uniforms at the drop of a hat, overnight, anytime I ask for it…FUCK NO THEY DO BUSINESS WITH ALL OUR LOCATIONS and thus, taking half a year to send it.
4. Being EVERYBODY’S BITCH/SECRETARY I’m only willing to take shit from my boss, not other people, unless she brings up something that isn’t our departments’ problem and makes a big fuss out of it.
5. Envying the glorified secretaries that get all the praise, but less work done, all because he’s a drop-dead-gorgeous body builder, and she’s a passive-aggressive sweetheart supermodel that everybody loves, even when she gossips behind their back. I wish my job was that easy — oh wait…WE DO THE SAME SHIT. I JUST GET MORE WORK DONE.
Sorry to everyone if I’m THAT pretty face secretary with a bitch attitude, but don’t hate me for being reasonable, smart, lean, and grossly overqualified for my job. I’ll join the police academy soon enough and be on a traffic ticket rampage.